


Speak Low, if You Speak Love

by Humanities_Handbag



Category: Strange Magic (2015)
Genre: F/M, Potionless - Freeform, butterfly bog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3822361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanities_Handbag/pseuds/Humanities_Handbag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because stories are fantastic and prose are incredible. But sometimes we all need a dash of dialogue from one of the most tragically separated and perfectly matched. Or, in simpler terms, the author of many a story between a dork of a Goblin and a Fairy goes mildly insane and types out many a dialogue because that is what she does in her free time. Ranging from short to long to dorky to... dorky, these will do their best to highlight the little parts of a relationship we long to see more of. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Because Despite all Beauty and Intimacy in the Moment Bog is Still a Dork

_Okay, so I **know** that their first time is going to be beautiful and intimate and vulnerable- _

_(slight nsfw head canon below…)_

_That moment is paying homage to the mixture of darkness and light that has taken over their lives. Even as their Kingdoms pull them apart they find ways to twist their limbs and combine their bodies and create someone so delicate and fragile and completely unbreakable all at once that will sear deeper into their selves as they do into each other.  
_

**_But come on_ **

_This is the Bog King of the Dork Forest we’re talking about._

_And if this isn’t want happens right after this beautiful and touching moment, then I just give up._

* * *

**Bog:** Marianne…

 **Marianne:** [snore]

 **Bog:** Marianne… are ye awake?

 **Marianne:** gghhh

 **Bog:** Hey… Hey Marianne, are ye-

 **Marianne:** [blinking and yawning and doing her best to ignore everything because dorky Boggy’s be Dorky Boggy’s…] Wha… B’g… wht’ya du’in…

 **Bog:** Marianne! We _did it!_

 **Marianne:** _Mmmhmmm_

 **Bog:** I mean, we _really_ did it! And… and ye were _amazing!_

 **Marianne:** _Nmghh_

 **Bog:** And I mean, I never thought I’d ever have _anyone_. _Ever_. But ye were here and I was here and… - _Marianne, are ye awake?_ \- and it was just… oh yee’re _beautiful_.

 **Marianne:** _ghjjkRrr_

 **Bog:** And I just… I just lost all _control_ to ye. And… I didn’t bite ye too hard, did I? [brushing one hand down her arm, feeling every shallow puncture, grimacing] _Oh, Marianne…_ I’m so sorry! Marianne! Darling, you didn’t tell me, I’m so - _Marianne are ye awake_ \- I didn’t hurt you, did I? Please tell me I didn’t-

 **Marianne:** Nnhhh…

 **Bog:** [Sighing, pulling her close] Good… Because I never would. And I never will. And ye were just so… _amazing_. 

**Marianne** : Frrrlll

 **Bog:** And I’m going to - _are ye still awake?_ \- make sure I tell ye every day how _beautiful_ ye are. Because ye are. And you’re so strong. And you’re so smart. And you’re just… Oh, Marianne…

 **Marianne:** Hmmmgg…

 **Bog:** And you’re just so… so _perfect_ and how did I ever end up with ye. What did I do to deserve… _Marianne_ , are ye awake… and a _Goblin_ and a _Fairy_. [kissing her temple] They never thought two such beings could be together, ye know? And we are. And we _did_ it. And it was… it was _beautiful_.

 **Marianne:** Drrhhghg

 **Bog:** I’ll find a way to repay you one day. But… but we _did_ it! Marianne! We actually… you and I… we _did_ it! And we can keep doing it! And I would! I would do it again and again but… but I also just love holding your hand and sitting with ye and talking with ye and - _Marianne are ye awake_?- but I didn’t know how _wonderful_ it would be to really _do it_ and then- Marianne are ye-

 **Marianne:** [blindly grabbing at his dorky face] Bog… sweetheart…

 **Bog:** _Yes_.

 **Marianne:** I _know_ you’re excited and everything about this. I really do. But… it’s late. Okay, hon? So please, for the love of everything, _please_ be quiet and go to sleep _._

 **Bog:** Oh! Right! Right. Of course. Sleep. We need that. Sleep. Right then. Goo’night.

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** [drumming fingers] ….

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** [sighing away like a fucking nerd] ….

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** _But we did it!_

**Marianne:** _Bog!_

* * *

_Because he would rave for hours and hours about everything. Because he is a dork. And that is what he is._

_Granted, she is too. So the next morning she no doubt would spend it raving and blushing along with him. And so it shall be._


	2. Butterfly Bog High Five Dialogue: Because if They aren’t High Five Masters then I Give Up…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn and Sunny drag Marianne and Bog to a party. During this party a discussion is had. This is the scene I constructed. Because I feel like Marianne and Bog would get so bored they’d resort to nothing but completely adorable idiot dorky banter.

**Bog:** That spar today was _amazing_.

 **Marianne:** I _know_ , right! I totally kicked your ass!

 **Bog:** Oh please. I believe _I_ was the one _winning_.

 **Marianne:** Yeah. The first three.

 **Bog:** And how many did _you_ win, pray tell? Two, wasn’t it?

 **Marianne:** [scoff] Whatever… 

 **Bog:** Hey…

 **Marianne:** What.

 **Bog:** [pecking her cheek] You’re amazing. And beautiful. 

**Marianne:** [blushing] Aw come on Bog, knock it off! 

**Bog:** You are! You’re _awesome_.

 **Marianne:** No, _you’re_ awesome. 

**Bog and Marianne:** _We’re awesome_.

[Across the table, staring in complete shock at the total flip flopping going on at the nerd side of the table]

 **Sunny:** Do they always do this?

 **Dawn:** Pretty much.

 **Sunny:** Well… why don’t we?

 **Marianne:** _Because maybe you’re not as **awesome**_.

 **Bog:** Oh you _know it_! [And they high-five without even looking because _that_ is their level of AWESOME]

 **Dawn:** Yeah. Okay. _Sure_. You two _practiced_ that, didn’t you?

 **Bog:** [Hanging his head in _shame_ ] … We… we may have… _coordinated_ the high five… slightly…

 **Marianne:** Yeah… yeah we did.

 **Sunny:** Hah! Who’s awesome now!

[Super long pause…]

 **Marianne:** WE PRACTICED THIS WHILE WE WERE IN _BED_.

 **Bog:** _AND IT WAS AWESOME_. [High five for fun times!]

 **Dawn:** Well. That did nothing.

 **Sunny:** They’re humble as ever, it seems.

 **Marianne:** [not giving a damn because fun times are fun] Come on! Let’s go back to your place!

 **Bog:** _Are we going to make out?_

 **Dawn:** Guys… I _really_ don’t need to know- _  
_

 **Marianne:** [Grabbing his face] We are going to make out _so hard_ against a random tree and then we are going to coordinate our next party crashing dance number and then we are going to make out again and it is going to be _amazing_. _Do you understand me, Bog. Do you accept this mission._

 **Dawn:** Guys, I really don’t think this is as big of a deal as you’re making-

 **Bog:** _I understand completely. I accept the mission with the highest of responsibilities. Let’s do this thing._

 **Sunny:** ….

 **Dawn:** ….

 **Sunny:** …. uh…

 **Dawn:** I can’t believe I was kidnapped and rescued by dorky idiots.

 **Sunny:** Yeah, I’m just realizing that it’s a miracle you’re even here right now.

 **Bog:** [still ignoring across the table] WE WILL PERFECT THE HIGH FIVE!

 **Marianne:** YES. YES THIS WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT LET’S GO RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN MORE ATTRACTIVE AND MY FACE IS GOING TO BE ON YOUR FACE SO HARD.

 **Bog:** I. AM. READY.

 **Marianne:** LET’S GOOOO!

 **Dawn:** Yup… it’s a miracle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve officially gone insane.


	3. In Which Bog is Drugged and Likes Big Butts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA Bog Attempts to Flirt with Marianne Under Morphine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA The Blogger Known as Humanity in a Handbag Has Officially Lost Her Mind

**Bog:** Hey there… _baby_.

 **Marianne:** Bog, you’re on drugs.

 **Bog:** Pshh… doesn’t mean I still don’t got it!

 **Marianne:** No… that’s pretty much what it means.

 **Bog:** Uh huh, shure… Hey, have I ever told you how… how… bee-beu-boo- _booooo_ tiful you are?

 **Marianne:** Many times.

 **Bog:** Yer…. yer like a piece a’ meat. Like’a… like a big _bowl_ of meat.

 **Marianne:** Charming.

 **Bog:** Or… er… _er_ … like a… like a _biiiiiiiig_ flower… with a _face_.

 **Marianne:** Uh huh.

 **Bog:** _Yer face_.

 **Marianne:** Great.

 **Bog:** Yer face should be a _flower_. Hey! Does every-ebery-eeeeeverybooooody know I’m with… with you?

 **Marianne:** Yeah, pretty much.

 **Bog:** _Gosh_ how on earth did I do it! Was I… was I _charming_?

 **Marianne:** You stole my sister, tried to kill me, held us hostage and did a few other things on a long list of things. All after I punched you in the face. Do you remember that hon?

 **Bog:** …..

 **Marianne:** …..

 **Bog:** ….. Yeah… but I bet you liked my _butt_.

 **Marianne:** Oh come on-

 **Bog:** _Admit it_. You w-wer…r…rrrrre checking me _out_. Because’a mah _butt_. You _liked it_.

 **Marianne:** [snorting] I like your butt always, sweetheart. You’ve got a great one.

 **Bog:** [cackling] _I knew it! HEY EVERYONE!_

 **Marianne:** Oh god.

 **Bog:** _I HAVE A LADY FRIEND AN’ HER NAME IS SOMETHING REALLY NICE AND SHE LIKES MY BUTT BECAUSE IT’S A NICE BUTT-_ tell them it’s a nice butt.

 **Marianne:** Absolutely not.

 **Bog:** _Gosh_ how did I get someone li-li _ke_ _yooooouuuuu_.

 **Marianne:** Sometimes I ask the same question.

 **Bog:** You’re funny. I like your butt.

 **Marianne:** _Wow. Okay._ Maybe we should _not_ talk about that. Right now. In a public place.

 **Healer:** [walking in all jaunty] How is he doing-

 **Bog:** _MARIANNE HAS A PERFECT BUTT AND SHE SAYS MINE IS NICE AND YOU CAN NEVER DEFY HER OF I’LL SEND YOU TO MY MAGICAL DUNGEON IN THE CLOUDS BUT YOU HAVE A GREAT BUTT TOO._

 **Marianne:** [Slapping her hand on his mouth] I’m so sorry! He’s usually _never_ like this. _Ever_.

 **Bog:** [Trying to slap away her hand and missing by a fucking mile] Mmmmm _  
_

 **Healer:** Not a problem m’lady. What we gave him was not a mild drug. But he was in a great deal of pain, and he needed the relief. I’m only too happy to help.

 **Marianne:** Thank you so much, sir. We really appreciate it. [Taking away her hand] Don’t we, Bog?

 **Bog:** _Yeah_ we do. Marianne. Say thank you to the nice person. 

**Marianne:** I just-

 **Bog:** Say thank you the way you tell _me_ thank you!

 **Marianne:** How in the hell do I say thank you to _you_? It’s the same as I say it to-

 **Bog:** _Show him your butt._

 **Marianne:** _….._

 **Bog:** …..

 **Marianne:** ….. Bog… maybe it’s time for-

 **Bog:** I’VE SEEN YOU NAKED.

 **Marianne:** More drugs. _Now._


	4. How Affection Goes Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA Marianne Tries to be Romantic (Part 1)

**Dawn:** Oh Sunny, I love you!

 **Sunny:** [Nuzzling her face] I love _you_ my little flower.

 **Dawn:** I’m your little flower!

 **Sunny:** Yup. You’re my flowers, my sunshine, my air. 

**Dawn:** [Swooning] Oh Sunny! 

 **Sunny:** Oh Dawn. 

[Watching and gagging]

 **Marianne:** We’re not like that, right?

 **Bog:** Gods no.

 **Marianne:** Good. And if I ever try something like that, stop me by any means necessary. Royal decree.

 **Bog:** Noted. [Chuckle] Besides, I doubt you could ever come close to saying something so nauseatingly sweet.

 **Marianne:** … What’s that supposed to mean?

 **Bog:** Uh…

 **Marianne:** You think I can’t be romantic!

 **Bog:** Well… Uh… I mean, I never said-

 **Marianne:** I’ll have you know, I can be _plenty_ romantic.

 **Bog:** Oh spare me, Tough Girl.

 **Marianne:** [Growling]I can!

 **Bog:** Oh _really_?

 **Marianne:** Yeah! I could be so romantic, it would knock the stupid grin off your stupid Goblin face!

 **Bog:** So do it!

 **Marianne:** Maybe I will!

 **Bog:** Fine!

 **Marianne:** Fine!

 **Bog:** …..

 **Marianne:** …..

 **Bog:** …..

 **Marianne:** You’re like a sexy tree-

 **Bog:** Please don’t.


	5. Something that would 100% happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA One take on Marianne and Bog’s “first time”

_**In the Fairy Kingdom:** _

**Dawn:** So, how was it?

 **Marianne:** How was what?

 **Dawn:** I heard you… you know… _did it_ with Bog last night.

 **Marianne:** _Dawn!_

 **Dawn:** Hey, it’s all good! I won’t tell anyone! But… you know… how was it?

 **Marianne:** (sighs) It was… oh gosh, Dawn, it was _amazing_. I’ve never felt so… so perfect, so beautiful, so _loved_. And Bog-

 **Dawn:** Oh, Boggy! How’s he holding up!

 **Marianne:** I don’t know! I had to leave this morning. And he looked pretty happy. But hey, you know Bog. He’s probably just going to keep quiet about it and wear that stupid goofy smile all day… blushing and smirking.

 **Dawn:** (giggles) Yeah. He’s always been the quiet type. Poor guy. I bet he’s too stunned to really know what hit him.

_**Meanwhile, in the Dark Forest….** _

**Bog:** GUESS WHAT GUYS, I DID IT WITH MARIANNE!

 **Entire Fucking Goblin Court:** HURRAH FOR THE KING!

 **Bog** : (popping champagne bottles) CHEERS TO WILD FAIRY SEX!

 **Entire Fucking Goblin Court:** SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

* * *

This makes me too happy.

Because we all know that Bog is a huge dweeb who would call every one of his subjects with one of those stupid community informative pamphlets or something that said “Your king has finally done it! Come over to his palace for drinks to celebrate this incredible achievement! Together, we can make a difference. Don’t do drugs.”

And then Marianne comes over the next day and is just like “how was your night?”

“Oh you know… quiet as ever. No big goblin roughhousing commemorating my love life.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”


	6. Because Sometimes Even Butterfly Bog Needs to be Weird

**Sunny:** It must be so dragging sometimes.

 **Dawn:** What is?

 **Sunny:** Well… I mean your sister is kind of a…

 **Dawn:** [Looking at him all like- go on… say it… _I dare you_ ] _Kind of a what, Sunny_?

 **Sunny:** Well… a cynic. 

**Dawn:** Oh! Yeah, she can be.

 **Sunny:** And I mean, Bog is too. A cynic, I mean.

 **Dawn:** Yeah. And dour. You forgot dour.

 **Sunny:** Right. So I mean them… together!? It must be a _drag_ sometimes, that’s all I mean. Two cynics _together_. It must be so… negative sometimes.

 **Dawn:** Uh… well… not always.

 **Sunny:** What d’you mean.

 **Dawn:** Well, I mean yeah. Sometimes it can get super negative. But really that’s only like, a little bit of the time. Honestly, the two of them together just get _weird_.

 **Sunny:** We’re weird together.

 **Dawn:** Yeah, but we’re both super positive people! I mean, you sing happy songs all day and my favorite color is glitter! We’re pretty much happy _always_.

 **Sunny:** [blushing] Yeah, we sort of are! 

**Dawn:** Well… that’s not the same for Marianne and Bog. You put them together and you get… something more…

 **Sunny:** Dastardly.

 **Dawn:** No. Not dastardly. Just sort of… um…

[Marianne and Bog go flying overhead with Marianne on Bog’s back in an evil piggyback fists raised in triumph, a tankard of beer between above her head]

 **Marianne:** HAHAHAHA ONWARD MY MINIONS! TO VICTORY OR DEATH!

 **Bog:** WE SHALL CONQUER THIS DAY!!!

 **Marianne:** AND WE SHALL DIE TRYING!!! GO FASTER MY VALIENT GOBLIN!

 **Bog:** MWAHAHAHHA! AND THEN WE SHALL MAKE OUT!!!!

 **Marianne and Bog:** [Chanting through the skies] MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT

 **Marianne:** [falls off of Bog’s back to the ground below] WHOAH! _oomph_

 **Bog:** Marianne! Are ye okay!

 **Marianne:** Yes! I landed in this pile of weird looking berries!

 **Bog:** …..

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

 **Marianne:** YAAAAAAAAAAS!

 **Dawn:** [head desk]

 **Sunny:** Uhhhh…. So… _weird_ then?

 **Dawn:** And this isn’t even the weirdest.

 **Marianne:** BRING ME THE FIRE!

 **Bog:** BURN BABY BURN!

 **Dawn and Sunny:** [Being a normal fucking couple for once] ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just feel like everyone has their days. Even Bog and Marianne. Everyone needs to let loose sometimes.


	7. Marianne Rarely Takes Care of Herself…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> …because she’s a selfless idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So can we kind of just accept that Bog would be an awesome stress manager for Marianne. Because he’s so fucking bad at dealing with it, that by now he’s the master of helping other people he actually gives a damn about deal with it.
> 
> Also, I kind of think that Marianne is that kind of person who doesn’t really do stress. She wants to fix everything and won’t take care of herself until it’s all done. So she won’t eat or sleep, she’ll just work. It’s unhealthy, but she’s the kind of person to put everyone before herself.
> 
> Bog doesn’t let that happen much these days…

[Bog looks up when the door to the dining room slams. Puts down papers.]

 **Marianne:** I QUIT!

 **Bog:** What are you quitting this time?

 **Marianne:** Being a princess. _No_! Being a Fairy. NO. Being a _stupid part of this stupid Kingdom and it’s stupid, stupid laws about Goblins and Fairies not being together and dealing with all the stupid people and their stupid, bigoted minds and their stupid… STUPID!_

 **Bog:** [Raising a brow] That’s a lot of stupid.

 **Marianne:** I can’t do this anymore! I swear! My father _never_ listens to any of my ideas!

 **Bog:** I recall you telling me that.

 **Marianne:** I’M SERIOUS!

 **Bog:** Yes. But you’re also hysterical.

 **Marianne:** [glaring] _You wanna go, Goblin_.

 **Bog:** ….

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** …. So while the world was being stupid-

 **Marianne:** [mumbling] … _stupid_ …

 **Bog:** -when was the last time you slept?

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** So not last night then.

 **Marianne:** [blushing] ….

 **Bog:** And when was the last time you _ate_?

 **Marianne:** [blushing harder] …. [mumbling] _I really don’t see what that has to do with_ -

 **Bog:** [standing and pushing her to the table] Right. You’re going to eat-

 **Marianne:** I CAN’T EAT WITH ALL THIS STUPID-

 **Bog:** [Loading a plate for her] And then we’re going to go to bed together. And then tomorrow morning we’ll talk. And we’ll figure this out. [slides her the plate] Together.

 **Marianne:** They’ll be more stupid tomorrow!

 **Bog:** Uh huh. Sure. Eat.

 **Marianne:** [grumbling, grabs a fork, shoveling food] _stupid… stupid… stupid……._

 **Bog:** Yes… real stupid. 

**Marianne:** mmmrph.

 **Bog:** Sorry. Can’t hear you through me being right.

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:** Marianne?

 **Marianne:** ….zzzzzz….

 **Bog:** Your face is in the food.

**Marianne:** _snore_

**Bog:** Wake up. Time for sleep. You have to walk to bed.

**Marianne:** _snort_

**Bog:** Carrying you it is, then.

 **Marianne:** (( _ . _ )) - _zzzzzzzzzz_

 **Bog:** I’m taking that as an open invitation to mock you mercilessly in the morning. Just so you know.

 **Marianne:** _mdmdmdhdfs_

[Bog is standing there all like, _I fucking knew it was coming,_ and smirks like an idiot because good god being right is amazing and holy shit taking care of her feels so great because she either rejects help or is helping him every other second and he never get’s the chance. Boyfriend status: **ACHIEVED** ]

 **Bonus:** In the morning he mocks Marianne like a boss.

 **Bonus Bonus:** He get’s a pillow to the face.


	8. In Which Marianne Gets Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And also Bog stares at her ass and then acts like one.

**Marianne:**  [glaring at the empty space in front of her] Stop it.

 **Bog:** [from behind her, staring at her stupid flopping legs] Stop what.

 **Marianne:**  I can  _hear_  you.

 **Bog:** Hear me doing  _what_?

 **Marianne:**  Giggling. Stop it.

 **Bog:** Nooooo. I’m not giggling? Who’s giggling. [giggle]

 **Marianne:** There! You did it again!

 **Bog:** Did not! It’s just… you know… [giggle, clears throat] It’s just that this is a  _very_  serious situation and I’m mourning. Those are my morning noises.

 **Marianne:**  I’m stuck in a  _log_ , Bog. I’m not dead. [searching him out] 

 **Bog:** Oh good! Then you’re still okay! 

 **Marianne:** _No_. I’m not  _okay_. I’m stuck in a  _log_. 

 **Bog:** Well who’s fault is that?

 **Marianne:**   _Yours!_ Last time I checked it was  _you_  who decided that aiming your  _stupid staff_  at my face would be a good idea! I just reacted!  _Like a normal person_.

 **Bog:** And it just so happened that your reaction barreled you into a log. [giggle]

 **Marianne:** _Bog_.

 **Bog:** In my defense, I didn’t  _mean_  to aim the staff at your face. You merely startled me with a well timed slash towards my shins. 

 **Marianne:** _Oh you’ll live_. Now, [wiggle wiggle wiggle]  _get me out!_

 **Bog:** But you look so  _cute_  when your stuck.

 **Marianne:** _Bog_!

 **Bog:** [smiling like a daemon] And I have a fantastic view of your butt. 

 **Marianne:** [growls] You’re a dead Goblin, Bog. [wiggle wiggle wiggle] … are you still staring.

 **Bog:** _Maaaaybe._

 **Marianne:**  BOG!

 **Bog:** Oh all right, hold on a second. [leaning his staff on a tree]

 **Marianne:**  Any day now.

 **Bog:** Do you  _want_  me to get you out?

 **Marianne:**  [grumble grumble grumble] 

 **Bog:**  [grabbing her legs, giving a tug] Uh… Marianne?

 _ **Marianne:**_  What.

 **Bog:**  [walking round to the front] I can’t get you out.

 **Marianne:**   _WHAT!?_

 **Bog:** [flapping his hands with a cheery ass grin on his face] Don’t worry! Nothing some oil wont fix! I’ll just hop back over to the castle-

 **Marianne:**   _NO! WAIT! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!_

 **Bog:** [tapping his chin] Perhaps I’ll grab a quick lunch while I’m there.

 **Marianne:** _BOG WHAT THE HELL DON’T YOU DARE-_

 **Bog:**  [spreading arms wide with a fucking sharing is caring leer on his face] And it has been a while since I’ve read those novels-

 **Marianne:**  [turning feral, grabbing uselessly at his ankles without being able to reach]  _BOG I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU-_

 **Bog:** [skipping away like a  _boss_ ] I’ll be back in a dash, Marianne, my dearest! 

 **Marianne:** _BOG KING YOU HAD BETTER NOT I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!_

 **Bog:** [twinkling his fingers through the trees] You’re the light of my life! 

 **Marianne:**   _BOG!_

 **Bog:** [in the distance] Toodleoooooo

* * *

_He would return later to a very pissed Fairy still stuck in a tiny log in the forest. He gave her some snacks and read her exactly three sappy romance poems in his best lusty voice while she practically burned away at the air around her in her fury and shoved food into her mouth with a constant loathing stare. Then he got her out after “accidentally” spilling half a bottle of lavender oil on her head and promising her that the scent would only last about a month and didn’t she just smell so pretty? But not before sneaking another peek at her butt. He did that too._

_Bog is still ranked high in boyfriend status._

_But he’s still kind of an ass._

_Marianne will get back at him in exactly seven weeks when he get stuck in a tree. Revenge is sweet._


	9. Legit the Entire Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively Titled: In which Humanity in a Handbag Recites the Entire Movie in One Interaction
> 
> Alternatively Alternatively Titled:Mommy Why!?
> 
> Alternatively Titled: Psh, Dork.

* * *

 

 **Bog:**   _I HATE LOVE SO MUCH TEAR DOWN THE PRIMROSES SET FIRE TO THEIR SOULS_.

 **Griselda:**  Boggy!

 **Bog:** _Mommy! I’m hating love right now! Go away! Mommy!_

* * *

 **Bog** :  _I’M SO EVIL I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW! MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY AND NO ONE MESS WITH ME!_

 **Griselda:**  Hi!

 **Bog:**   _Mommy!_  Mommy, I’m evil right now!  _Mommy staaaahp it!_

* * *

 **Griselda:** Look! I found you a girl.

 **Bog:** Mommy! Mommy girls are  _icky_! I dan’t wanna meet them!

 **Griselda:** Boggy! You are going to meet them right now!

 **Bog:** … [grumbling]  _Fine_. But not because I want to. Because you  _told me to_.

* * *

 **Bog:** _WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, TOUGH GIRL!_

[Ten minutes later]

 **Bog:** _Mommy! She punched me! Mommy the mean girl punched me! Make her say sorry. Mommy!_

* * *

 **Griselda:** If the love potion works, then explain what happened to this one!?

 **Bog:** Mommy! That was mean! Mommy, now I’m sad! Mommy!

* * *

 **Bog:** _YOU ARE MY PRISONER FAIRY! YOU ARE MINE UNTIL YOU ARE FREED AND I WILL DESTROY YOU UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!_

 **Griselda:**  Don’t be rude, Bog.

 **Bog:** _Mommy!_ Mommy, I’m trying to be  _scary_! Why wont you let me be _scary_! She wont stop singing! Mommy, tell her to  _staaaahp!_

 **Griselda:** Bog.

 **Bog:** Mommy, I don’t  _waaaana_!

 **Griselda:** Now, Bog!

 **Bog:** [to Dawn] … sorry… [glaring] _But only because my mommy said so._

* * *

 **Bog:** _I WILL DESTROY YOU FAIRY! I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!_

 **Griselda:** _Look! I decorated!_

 **Bog:** _Mommy! Mommy, this isn’t faaaaiiir! I’m not trying to- no! Mommy! Where are you going! Don’t leave me alone here! Mommy!!!_

* * *

 **Bog:** [staring at Marianne]

 **Griselda:**  You’re in love with someone!

 **Bog:** Mommy! Mommy  _staaahp!_ Mommy go away you’re embarrassing me in front of the Fairy girl! Mommy!

* * *

 **Every Fucking Person Ever:** Say you love her!

 **Bog:**  Uh… Uh… I mean I…

 **Every Fucking Person Ever:** JUST SAY IT!

 **Bog:** _YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO PEASANTS._

 **Griselda:** Say it, Bog.

 **Bog:** Mommy,  _no_! I don’t want to do it  _now_! I don’t even have the pyrotechnics planned! Mommy,  _why_!?

 **Griselda:**   _Now_!

 **Bog:**  I love you…

 **Griselda:**  Good boy.


	10. Bog’s Thought Processes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA Bog Doesn’t Know What the Hell He’s Doing  
> AKA Bog Never Knows What the Hell He’s Doing  
> AKA The Inside of Bog’s Mind is a Testament to Bog Not Knowing What the Hell He’s Doing  
> AKA Blorp  
> AKA Their Relationship Has Reached Blanket Fort Status

 

* * *

 **Bog:** So… yee’ll be stayin’ over then?

 **Marianne:**  Yeah! Yeah… I mean… of course! And we’ll be  _sharing_ _your_   _bed_ … I’m guessing?

 **Bog:**   _Oh!_  Yes. Of course. I… uh…  _yes_.

 **Marianne:**  [Relieved] That’s  _great!_

 **Bog:**  It is? I mean if-

 **Marianne:**   _Oh!_  Oh no I didn’t mean that. I just meant that it was really great because… uh… I don’t know I just… just want

 **Bog:**  … _oh_.

 **Marianne:**  Oh god! Oh no, Bog, I didn’t- I’m so  _glad_  that we are! It’ll be good for us, you know? Learning to share a space! Because, you know, you’re all spiky and I steal the covers and this is pretty long term so- [realizes what the hell she just says, turns bright red] _I mean! I’m not trying to-! Uh…_

 **Bog:**  NO! No, I understand. That’s… that’s great, Marianne.  _Truly_.

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:** SHE SAID LONG TERM. DID YOU HEAR THAT! EVERYONE! EVERYONE DID YOU HEAR THAT! MARIANNE JUST SAID LONG TERM! WE’RE IN THIS FOR THE LONG RUN! US AND THIS GORGEOUS, AMAZING, PERFECT SKY DOLPHIN ARE IN THIS TOGETHER FOREVER THIS IS THE BEST OH MY GODS YES. 

 **Marianne:** Well… I mean it’ll also be good because… uh… [flushing, looking away] It’ll be nice to wake up to you… you know?

 **Bog:**   _Yes_ … I most certainly do.

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:** THIS IS SO GREAT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER AND MAKE FORTS OUT OF BLANKETS AND NO ONE IS GOING TO BOTHER US BECAUSE I WILL SCARE THEM OUT WITH MY EVIL RAGE AND ALSO YOU ARE PERFECT, YOU AMAZING FLOWER OF CLOUDS AND RAINBOWS.

 **Marianne:**  And… I mean, the Dark Forest has become so much of m _e_ … if that makes any sense. I want to be able to experience it all.  _Especially_ you. Because… you know…

 **Bog:**  [blushing, letting out bashful chuckles]  _Yeah_.

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:** BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU! BECAUSE ALL DAY EVERY DAY I AM PINING OVER YOU AND YOUR PERFECTNESS! BECAUSE YOU ARE LITERALLY THE GREATEST THING EVER, YOU SUPER, DUPER, AWESOME PUFF BALL OF SUGAR AND BLOOD LUST.

 **Marianne:**  And being close to you at night will be-

 **Bog:**   _Great!_ [smiling like dorks at one another, clearing his throat] It will be  _wonderful_. Sleeping beside ye, I mean.

 **Marianne:**  Yeah. And, if you want we… we can do more than that.

 **Bog:** [lightly blushing] Of  _course_  we can, love. 

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:**   _MORE THAN THAT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN MORE THAN THAT OH HOLY MOTHER OF ALL GODS DOES SHE MEAN… _no she cant… but she might…_ OH GODS OH GODS I’M NOT READY FOR THIS WHO AM I KIDDING YESIAM! SCRATCH THE PILLOW FORT NEW PLAN I AM JUST GOING TO SEE HOW LOUD I CAN MAKE YOU SCREAM. PLAN SCREW-IT-ALL IS A GO! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!_

 **Marianne:**  Uh… Bog, are you okay?

 **Bog:** Fine! I’m - _uh-_  I’m fine. 

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:**   _THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY IN ALL OF EXISTENCE YOU GLORIOUS FAIRY, YOU._

 **Marianne:**  So… we should-

 **Bog:** Go! Yes! We should go-

 **Marianne:** Go home. Yeah. We should. [Realizes what she says again] Oh  _I didn’t mean… uh…_

 **Bog:** _It’s okay,_ love _._  It is _home… if ye want it to be._

 **Marianne:**  [smiling shyly]  _Yeah… I do._

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:** _YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE! I CANNOT EVEN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW THIS IS JUST THE GREATEST THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY EXISTENCE YOU PURE BUFF PIXIE OF BEATING HEART MAGIC._

 **Marianne:**  Bog… you’re fading out again? Are you okay?

 **Bog:**  I’m fine! The voice in my head is just in rapture.

 **Marianne:**  ….

 **Bog:**  …..

 **Marianne:**  …. what?

 **Bog:**  So! Sex? [realizes what he just said, tries to back up, hunching over] I mean….  _uh_ … sex is fun! I mean, not, it is… uh… blanket forts?  _I mean-_

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:** _YOU ARE BLOWING THIS FOR US QUICKLY BACK UP COMPLIMENT HER!_

 **Bog:** _Your face is not a tree._

 **Inside Bog’s Mind:**  [presses the self destruct]

 **Bog:**  … I mean…  _sorry._

 **Marianne:**  … Bog, sweetie. You don’t have to be  _nervous_. It’s just  _me_.

 **Bog:**  [smiles shyly]

 **Marianne:** [smiles back shyly]

 **Inside Marianne’s Mind:** _HOOOOOOOOWMAAAAHHHGAAAWDS HE IS THE MOST ADORABLE STUPID THING EVER! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU MOAN SO HARD TONIGHT MY SEXY PINE CONE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FRIGGEN ADORABLE YOU PERFECT TEENY TINY LITTLE LEGGY TREE BLORPY GOBLIN THING YOU, YOU ARE LITERALLY JUST THE DORKIEST THING EVER I CANNOT EVEN HANDLE THIS WE ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MAKING BLANKET FORTS TONIGHT I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE ATTRACTED TO YOU LETS DO THIS._

 **Bog:** Marianne, are ye-

 **Marianne:** _LET’S MAKE BLANKET FORTS._

 **Bog:** _I LOVE YOU._

* * *

And so Bog and Marianne said screw it to being shy and just made blanket forts all night.

And it was fucking _rad as hell._


	11. Bog Sees Marianne Without Makeup On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA Bog’s first reaction at Marianne without her makeup on. 
> 
> AKA Why is it she who must suffer his past choices

Because I don’t think he think’s she’s ugly. Nor do I think he has a preference. I just think he’s going to be startled that THAT STUFF WASN’T YOUR FACE. WHERE DID YOUR FACE GO. I WILL TREAT IT. HERE. HAVE ANTIBIOTICS.

 **Marianne:**  Bog… no- no Bog sweetie I’m fine I just-FJDKAKDA [washcloth slaps her face]

 **Bog:**  DON’T WORRY MARIANNE I WILL SAVE YOU [scrub scrub scrub]

**Marianne:** _OH MY GOD BOG STOP IT._

**Bog:** _I WILL SAVE YOU MARIANNE. I WILL GO GET YOUR SKIN._

**Marianne:** _I chose you…. I chose you._

**Bog:**  [striking heroic pose]  _I WILL SAVE YOUR FACE. I WILL RUN TO THE ENDS OF THE DARK FOREST TO FIND THAT PURPLE SKIN THAT’S OVER YOUR EYES. AND THAT STUFF THAT TATES GOOD ON YOUR LIPS. [stalls] OH NO MARIANNE. I NEVER MEANT THAT. I WOULD NEVER EAT YOUR LIPS LIKE THAT MARIANNE. OH GOD MARIANNE. I CAN NEVER KISS YOU AGAIN._

 **Marianne:**  Look at my life… look at my choices…

 **Bog:**   _WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO. I CAN NO LONGER KISS MY LOVE BECAUSE YOUR LIPS TASTE OF WATERFALLS AND SUNSHINE! TIS MY FAULT THEY’VE GONE, MARIANNE. I AM THE REASON YOUR LIPS FELL OFF! I AM THE REASON YOUR MOUTH IS NO LONGER ON YOUR FACE. I AM TO BLAAAAAAME!_

 **Marianne:** Yeah. Okay. Sure.

 **Bog:**   _WHAT IS LIFE. WHAT IS IT._

 **Marianne:** Okay, I think it’s time for bed now.

 **Bog:**  … [sniffle] _I am the reason your face ran away._

 **Marianne:** Okay… bed time, big boy. 

 **Bog:** [patting her face] Does it hurt when I do this? Have I harmed you?

 **Marianne:** No. It’s just mildly irritating. So stop. [pushes him into bed] And when you wake up my face will be back. Because it didn’t go anywhere.

 **Bog:**  [curls up in bed miserable] It ran away because of my face.

 **Marianne:**  No it ran away because you’re an idiot.

 **Bog:** ….

 **Marianne:** ….

 **Bog:**  [gets out of bed to hug her] …. so….  _it was because of me! :’(_

 **Marianne:**  I swear to god I’m giving you a make up lesson tomorrow. After I look at my life choices. 

 **Bog:** MY MIDDLE NAME IS MISERY!!!! D’:

 **Marianne:**  This is the man I’ve chosen to love. 

 **Bog:** [dropping to his knees, fists raised to the heavens]  _OH GODS WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. WHY IS IT YOU THAT HAS TO SUFFEEEEEERRRR!?!?!?_

 **Marianne:** I’m going to go now. Bye. 


End file.
